"Stereo"



Make you choice and that is that
Live with her and don't look back
Easy, simple, tidy, ultra-clean
Not with me, I don't know why
To the left and to the right
Good things come from just one side

(In) Stereo
Stereo
Stereo-

In a sandwich, in a vice
Stuck with too much paradise
It's okay with me, it's not too bad
Each of you has other scenes
smart professors, clean marines
You too live your life in Stereo

"Stop Me If You've Heard This Before"



I'm loyal, I'm faithful, I trust you
Then Friday, I walk in and bust you
With someone else

Stop me if you've heard this before
Stop me, stop me
Stop me if you've heard this before
Stop me, stop me

I'm wary of lasting relations
Since you started taking vacations
With all my friends

Stop me if you've heard this before
Stop me, stop me
Stop me if you've heard this before
Stop me, stop me

I know what you do
I know what you're up to
I know what you do
I know what you're up to

I lie here, I'm waiting, debating
I know you, you're out there, gyrating
With someone else

Stop me if you've heard this before
Stop me, stop me
Stop me if you've heard this before
Stop me, stop me

"Strange Animal"


When the strange animal
with the strange set of plants
came to town last July
there was blood on his hands,
and it now comes to light
he had been in a fight
with some government men
who were high as a kite

what a strange animal we a-a-a-are [x2]

There are songs that are sealed,
that will not let you in,
but he came on a song
that was open to him
to get out of the rain,
it was cold, it was strong
Well the strange animal
walked right into the song

What a strange animal we a-a-a-are [x2]
What a strange [x4]
What a strange animal we a-a-a-are [x5]

"I had nowhere to go
so I entered your song
so I entered your song
hope you don't think me wrong
well it's warm and its dry
it's a nasty old night
it's a nasty old night
and I must look a sight"

There's something 'bout him that is frightening,
and right on cue, a bolt of lightning

"I'll just sit over here
till the cold disappears
would you think it a sin
if I start chiming in?"

what a strange animal we a-a-a-are [x4]
we are
what a strange animal we are

"If I may be quite frank
and I'm not pulling rank
and I know I'm a guest
and I know you know best
but this song lacks a heart
comes off overly smart
an emotional core
ain't that what songs are for?"

There's something 'bout him I'm not liking
somebody to tell to get hiking

"But you need to be clear
and a lot more sincere.
Wake me up, will you friend,
when the verse finally ends?"

what a strange animal we a-a-a-are [x4]
we are [x3]

But the ones in the song
who had been there so long
who, impatient, has seethed
and they asked him to leave,
but he said "Not so fast!
Unaware of my past
you allowed me inside;
You can't push me aside.
When the song lets me in
O can see where its been -
if it's broken some hearts,
if it's been in the charts.
But this song shows no signs
of a grander design
it attained it or not
what you know from the start"

"you're in need of a fix
of a totally remix
so I must clue you all
[?]
I'm a strange animal
and I find you quite dull
here's that chorus again
that can stay
here's the end"

what a strange animal we a-a-a-are...

"Suburban Homeboy"



I am a suburban homeboy with a suburban 'ho right by my side
I am a suburban homeboy and I say yo dog to my pool cleaning guy
I hope I'm baggy enough for them
I play my Shaggy enough for them
I'll pop a cap up some fool at the Gap
'Cause I'm a suburban homeboy

I am a suburban homeboy with a suburban ho right by my side
I am a suburban homeboy and I say yo' dog to my detailing guy
I bought me cornrows on Amazon
I started listening to Farrakhan
My caddy and me he looks just like Jay-Z
And I'm a suburban homeboy

I am a suburban homeboy with a suburban ho right by my side
She's known as Miss Missy Tannenbaum and she's one freak bitch, ain't no lie
She's from the projects in St. Tropez
She looks like Iverson in a way
She yo yo's me and I yo yo her back
And I'm a suburban homeboy
She yo yo's me and I yo yo her back
And I'm a suburban homeboy
She yo yo's me and I yo yo her back
And I'm a suburban homeboy

We are suburban homeboys
With our suburban ho's right by our sides
We are suburban homeboys and we say yo dog and we mean it, by God
We've got an old school mentality
Oxford and Cambridge mentality
Props to our peeps and please keep your receipts
And we are suburban homeboys
Props to our peeps and please keep your receipts
And we are suburban homeboys
Props to our peeps and please keep your receipts
And we are suburban homeboys
Props to our peeps and please keep your receipts
And we are suburban homeboys

"Suzie Safety"


I looked up in the sun
And I didn't shade my eyes
Then a girl appeared and said
"Here, these are your size"

[Chorus:]
Suzie Safety
Suzie Safety (That's my Suzie)

I tried to cross the street
And I almost got mowed down
But the softest little hand yanked me back
To safer ground

[Chorus]

She says, no smoking
She says, no drink
You should wear a parka
I'm really safe but I kind of resent
Suzie Safety
Suzie Safety (That's my Suzie)
Suzie Safety (She's my saftey)

When she's near to me
And there's no one else around
And I can't control myself
She says, "safety first, pal"

[Chorus]

She says no speeding
And always eat right
Watch you fats and starches
I'm really safe but I kind of resent
Suzie Safety
Suzie Safety (That's my Suzie)
Suzie Safety (She's my safety)

She's safe in my arms
And I'm safe in hers

[Chorus]

"Talent Is An Asset"


Albert is smart, he's a genius
Watch Albert putter, an obvious genius
Someday he will reassess the world
And he'll still have time for lots of girls

When he grows up he'll remember us
When he grows up we are sure that he'll remember us

We made sure that Albert wore his mac
We kept all the strangers off his back

[Chorus:]
(Go away)
Everything's relative
(Go away Albert's mother does say to me)
We are his relatives and he don't need any non-relatives

Talent is an asset
You've got to understand that
Talent is an asset
And little Albert has it
Talent is an asset
And Albert surely has it

One day he'll sever his apron strings
All of the while he'll be scribbling things, genius things
Look at Albert, isn't he a sight
Growing, growing at the speed of light

[Chorus:]
(Go away)
Everything's relative
(Go away Albert's mother does say to me)
We are his relatives and he don't need any non-relatives

Talent is an asset
And little Albert has it

Talent is relative
That's hypothetical
We are his relatives
That's parenthetical
Spare your superlatives
There's the receptacle
There's the receptacle

Leave Albert's study room
Leave Albert's happy home
Leave Albert's neighborhood
Leave Albert's city, too
Leave Albert's country seat
Leave Albert's coun-ter-y
Leave Albert's continent
Leave Albert's hemisphere
Leave Albert's planet, too
Leave Albert's universe

No one must see him now
Only the medical
No one must downgrade him
Don't be to cynical
Don't be to critical
Cancel the magazines
They're much to political
Don't buy him any jeans
They're much to casual
Talent is relative
That's hypothetical
We are his relatives
That's parenthetical

"Tarzan And Jane"



There's a riot in Room 42
It was chemistry, now it's a zoo
And they kicked out the teacher, Miss Prune
Tuned the heat up to one hundred two

Tarzan and Jane
Tarzan and Jane

Now they're ripping their shirts and their tights
Now they're swinging from flourescent lights
Look at Bob, he was getting straight A's
Who's he carrying 'round on his face

Tarzan and Jane
Tarzan and Jane

Now they've called in the men wearing blue
There's a cameraman from Channel 2
On the news at eleven does Edgar Rice Burroughs
Get royalties on local news

Tarzan and Jane
Tarzan and Jane

Well, tomorrow at 7:04
As the principal says "shut the door"
They'll be 25 Tarzan and 25 Janes
And a chimp from Zoology 4

Tarzan and Jane
Tarzan and Jane

"Tearing The Place Apart"



It's so easy
Tearing the place apart
I'm getting rid of every memory
I don't know where to start
So many memories all around me
Now that you've gone to someone else
Give me a reason I should keep, our world that is acres deep,
in which you touched, in which you saw, in which you were
It's so easy

Tearing the place apart
each square of vinyl that you stepped on
Pulled up and thrown away
And burned with linen that we slept on
All my collections out they go
stamps of all nations where we'd been
and we had been everywhere
They're ripped in two
They're ripped in four
They're in the wind
It's so easy

The walls they enclosed us they're crumbling, they're tumbling,
I'm stumbling, I'm crumbling
Tearing the place apart
Tearing the place apart

Down come the chandeliers
That lit our cozy little dinners
Shattered for ever more - one thing is certain -
I'll grow thinner
No need to eat with company
No need to eat at all I guess
Away go the cabinets, so fully stocked
From soup to nuts to aubergine....

The walls they enclosed us they're crumbling, they're tumbling,
I'm stumbling, I'm crumbling
Tearing the place apart
Tearing the place apart

Tearing the place apart
I'll rip the doors off with the hinges
Who needs a door at all

the world can walk in and I'll let them
Help yourself to a magazine
Help yourself to anything
Go and take anything
They're only things
They're only things
They're only things

It's so easy...

"Thank God It's Not Christmas"


What do I hear, what do I hear?
Chit-chat, and clinking glass
Cheap talk, a lady's laugh
After hour

What do I see, what do I see?
Some sunken hideaway
Where people go to play
After hour

There I'll spend the night
Meeting fancy thins
At bistros and old haunts
Trying very hard to sin

Then it is day end in a way
The pattern's much the same
In-spots, a matinee
Every day

Blend with the crowd, blend with the loud
Hypnotic ebb and flow
Until the day goes slowly
Into night
See the same old crowd
At bistros and old haunts
'Til the lights grow dim,
The not-so-subtle hint to be gone

[Chorus:]
Thank God it's not Christmas
When there is only you
And nothing else to do
Thank God it's not Christmas
Where there's just you to do
The rest is closed to public view

Caroling kids, caroling kids
A trifle premature, in tones so rich and pure and crystaline
Call for the day, the popular day
It's fast approaching now
But will the mood allow
One dissent

If this were the Seine
We'd be very suave
But it's just the rain
Washing down the boulevard

[Chorus]

Popular days, the popular ways
Are for the chosen few
Not meant for me and you
Obviously

Popular nights, poplar rites
Great things to say and do
Aren't said or done by you
Obviously

If this were Seine
We'd be very suave
But it's just the rain
Washing down the boulevard

"Thanks But No Thanks"



Just keep right on walking
Just keep right on walking

Don't dilly-dally, come right home
I don't see why I must go home
When in the streets the niceties
Come pouring out and over me
Its three o'clock and here they come
So many that my eyes are numb
Familiar faces each and all
But I've been ordered not to stall

Thanks but no thanks, anyway
I know that you're all OK, but
My orders come from high above me
About a foot or two above me

The merry band of "How are you's"

In tweedy suits and pointy shoes
They offer me a ride in style
And something sweet to make me smile
I hate to hurt their feelings so
But I'm supposed to tell them no
My parents say the world is cruel
I think that they prefer it cruel

Thanks but no thanks, anyway
I know that you're all OK, but
My orders come from high above me
About a foot or two above me
Just keep right on walking
Just keep right on walking
Just keep right on walking
Just keep right on walking

Thanks but no thanks, anyway
I know that you're all OK, but
My orders come from high above me
About a foot or two above me
Thanks but no thanks anyway
Thanks but no thanks anyway
Thanks but no thanks anyway, anyway, anyway

"That's Not Nastassia"


Man, there's never been a girl like this
That's not Nastassia
What an influential little miss
That's not Nastassia
Imitation is a form of flattery, I'm told
She is getting flattered where it's hot and
where it's cold
That's not Nastassia
That's not Nastassia
That's not Nastassia

She is on the news again tonight
That's not Nastassia
Someone looking like her stole a bike
That's not Nastassia
Maby it's a fad, a sort of modern Hula Hoop
Still, it's of their own free will, no one has been duped
That's not Nastassia, [etc]

What a sense of power to have sway around the world
What a sense of power to control a billion girls
Change your hair style, they change theirs
Change your nail style, they change theirs
That's not Nastassia

Presidental wifes and topless maids
That's not Nastassia
More or less identically the same
That's not Nastassia
If I wasn't masculine, I would join the craze
Dye my hair and take on those
Nastassianic ways
That's not Nastassia
That's not Nastassia
That's not Nastassia
That's Nastassia

That's not Nastassia
That's Nastassia

Now she wants some anonymity
That's not Nastassia
And all the rest want anonymity
That's not Nastassia
She should just forget it, it's a carbon copy world
When she starts yo fade away, everyone will fade
That's not Nastassia
That's not Nastassia
That's not Nastassia
That's Nastassia
That's not Nastassia
That's Nastassia, [etc.]

"The Angels"



I heard the angels call your name
I heard the angels call your name

They feel ashamed
They feel ashamed

Because you look so fucking good
I saw the angels glaring down
I saw the angels glaring down
They feel inane
They feel in pain
Because you're oh so fucking cool

Me, I take it in stride
Me, I know I'm on the right side this time
I see the angels disappear
I see the angels disappear

They feel confused
They feel bemused
They are a pale picture of you

Me, I take it in stride
Me, I know I'm on the right side this time

They've felt the heat
And felt defeat
Because you look so fucking good

They've felt the heat
And felt defeat
Because you look so fucking good

"The Calm Before The Storm"



The dogs are letting postmen come and go
The muscle cars are driving way too slow
And everybody's walking on tip-toe
For every yes, a hundred no's

The kind of day when nothing hits the fan
The kind of day when nothing's in demand
The kind of day when music means Chopin
And love is shown by holding hands
It's the calm before the storm

Something big is coming soon, something that will change your tune
It's the calm before the storm

False sense of security, shown to be a forgery
And everybody's talk is monotone
And everybody's look is monochrome
And everybody's flight has been postponed
The loudest sound's a dial tone.

It's the calm before the storm
Something big is coming soon, something that will change your tune

It's the calm before the storm
False sense of security, shown to be a forgery

Something's about to break, but is isn't clear (Not enough was going on, oh no)
Is it something we should cheer (Not enough was going on, oh yeah)
Is is something we should fear (No enough was going on, oh yeah)
The ocean doesn't feel like making waves

There's no one that the lifeguard needs to save|
And on one's in the mood for feeling brave
We're well behaved, so well behaved

It's the calm before the storm
Something big is coming soon, something that will change your tune

It's the calm before the storm
False sense of security, shown to be a forgery

"The Decline And Fall Of Me"



Now I stutter, now I dribble
Other than that, I'm lots like I was then
The decline and fall of me

I just shaved my nose off, oh well
Other than that, I'm lots like I was then
The decline and fall of me

If I had a hammer I would drop it and break it
Look at the pieces
Now I've got a hobby, I collect frozen pizzas
Check out my pizzas

Now your jokes seem really funny
Other than that, I'm lots like I was then
The decline and fall of me

Where's my mouth, man, this eating is rough on the shirts
Gee, I'm sorry about the thermometer, nurse
Would you tell me again, which are girls, which are guys
Gee, I thought that this finger meant so long, goodbye

Chart position, bubbling under, drowning
And goodbye future Mrs. Mael, Mael
The decline and fall, decline and fall, decline and fall of me

I'm fading away
I'm fading away
I'm fading away

"The Director Never Yelled 'Cut'"



The Director Never Yelled 'Cut'
The Director Never Yelled 'Cut'

Some directors like a lot of cutting, cutting
But it seems that this director has a different thing in mind
She could not articulate exactly what she wanted
What she wanted was a feeling that I tried so hard to find

The Director Never Yelled 'Cut'
The Director Never Yelled 'Cut'

Faith in her artistic vision lead me to continue
To express the sort of passion that I'd never shown before
I expected "yes, we've got it"
but there was no "yes, we've got it"
All that I could sense is that she wants a little more

The Director Never Yelled 'Cut'
The Director Never Yelled 'Cut'

Got to stay in character, for how long I can't tell you
And I feel we're getting closer though no indication yet
Then she says "we've got it", and I say "you sure we've got it?"
And she says "that is a wrap, that was your best performance yet"

The director finally yelled "cut"

"The Ghost Of Liberace"


It was a dark and stormy night that I stepped out
Something strange was in the air, I couldn't figure it out
Who's there, tell me what you want from me
Oh no, I can't believe what I now see
They say the paranormal's just a sucker's game
I keep an open mind, but deep down I feel the same
Oh no, now I think I've changed my mind
Oh no, now I know I've changed my mind

[CHORUS:]
The ghost of Liberace keeps on hanging 'round
Hovers over farmland, lingers over towns
The ghost of Liberace still has that mystique
If he were alive he'd now be at his peak

The ghost of Liberace
The ghost of Liberace

Across the street, in fact across the whole damn town
They're making fun of him, they try to put him down
Oh yeah, but I wished they'd let him be
Oh yeah, he's not hurting you or me
Sometimes he blinds the drivers with his shiny suits
They see that smile and they laugh at him, hey don't shoot
Oh no, now he's hung in effigy
On no, why can't they just let him be

The ghost of Liberace
The ghost of Liberace

[CHORUS x2]

He hums Evita and Moon River and Michelle
Maybe that's why the people scream out "go to hell"
Oh no, now they're throwing cans of beer
Oh no, I thought ghosts could disappear
But he remains in all his glory, it's so strange
These aren't the kind of people he can change
But wait, now they're starting to applaud
I guess there really is a God above

[CHORUS x2]

The ghost of Liberace

"The Greatest Show On Earth"



Step right up and see her walkin' down the street, she's somethin'
Watch her check you out and see if you're complete, she's somethin'
See her tap her foot to nothin' but your heavy breathing
She's the greatest show on earth and I ain't ever leaving.

Cause she's the greatest show on earth tonight and every night
And she's worth it even when you gotta pay a heavy price
Cause she's the greatest show on earth tonight and every night
And she's worth it even when you got to push and shove and fight

You could bring together everyone for one big show
The Four Tops, MopTops, Boston Pops, and Art Laboe
Half a million people pushin' and the crowd says "go"
But I'd be up in my apartment with the greatest show

Cause she's the greatest show on earth tonight and every night
And she's worth it even when you gotta pay a heavy price
Cause she's the greatest show on earth tonight and every night
And she's worth it even when you got to push and shove and fight

"The Lady Is Lingering"


Every word pronounced distinctly, slowly
There are no contractions, nothing slurred
Unprepared you watch in rank amazement
As she lights her cigarette and stirs
Every motion is complete, no editing of anything
Encouraging, encouraging, and not
the customary bill of fare

Can't you see the lady is lingering
(lingering)
This lady's lingering, and you cannot believe
the reason why

Every sip is of the smallest quantity
That still denotes apparent thirst
Every question is a means to draw long answers
Play the fool, it doesn't hurt
Splitting, splitting headache coming
Get up early in the morning
Where are the funny phrases
That are always followed by goodbye

[Chorus]

Is it now all up to you, do you now
guide the evening, or do you await
a further signal, a look, a touch, a sigh

[Chorus]

Risky business, all this waiting, wondering
A risky business, all this waiting, wondering
A risky business, all this waiting, wondering
A risky business, all this waiting, wondering

[Chorus]

"The Louvre"



The tourist guide explains my aims
"This one's a monument to change."
The tourists do marvel, they touch my cold marble
But my eyes are fixed upon the door, upon the door

Let's see you lift me
I dare you to try
Let's see you lift me
I dare you to try
Let's see you lift me
I dare you to try
Let's see you lift me
I dare you to try

"The No. 1 Song In Heaven"



This is the number one song in heaven
Written, of course, by the mightiest hand
All of the angels are sheep in the fold of their master
They always follow the Master and his plan

This is the number one song in heaven
Why are you hearing it now, you ask
Maybe you're closer to here than you imagine
Maybe you're closer to here than you care to be
It's number one, all over heaven
It's number one, all over heaven
It's number one, all over heaven
The number one song all over heaven

If you should die before you wake
If you should die while crossing the street
The song that you'll hear, I guarantee

It's number one, all over heaven
It's number one, all over heaven
It's number one, all over heaven
The number one song all over heaven

The one that's the rage up here in the clouds
Loud s a crowd or soft as a doubt
Lyrically weak, but the music's the thing

Gabriel plays it,
God how he plays it
Gabriel plays it,
God how he plays it
Gabriel plays it,
God how he plays it
Gabriel plays it, let's hear him play it

The song filters down, down through the clouds
It reaches the earth and winds all around
And then it breaks up in millions of ways

It goes la, la, la......

In cars it becomes a hit
In your homes it becomes advertisements
And in the streets it becomes the children singing...