"I'm Not"



I'm not
I'm not

First I wake up and not shave
Not a very pretty day
Look at the time
It's time to not go out to work today
I'm not at my best today
I'm not getting dressed today
Look at the time
It's time to not eat lunch with you today

I'm not fooling when I say
I'm not myself any day
I'm not
In or out or up or down
I'm not
Shutting up or yelling out
I'm not, I'm not
I'm not

I'm not buying nothing new
And I'm not trying nothing new
No one makes me feel
As though it matters what I do
I'm not watching my TV
And I'm not reading magazines
And I'm not missing much
And that ain't hard for me to see

You're not my type but you can stay
That's long enough, now go away
I'm not
In or out or up or down
I'm not
Shutting up or yelling out
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not

I'm not
I'm not

First I wake up and not shave
Not a very pretty day
Look at the time
It's time to not go out to work today

(I'm not) I'm not
(I'm not) I'm not
(I'm not) I'm not
(I'm not) I'm not

"I've Never Been High"



Thrill rides and places, wide-open spaces
Played in a band, such harmless novelties
Wher's the forgetting, where's the regretting
Of lurid acts that never came to be

I've never been high, never been high, never been high
I've never been high, never been high, never been high

If I could buy it, maybe I'd try it
But my connections aren't what they once were
Paint me a picture, read me some scripture
Maybe I should've stuck it out with her

I've never been high, never been high, never been high
I've never been high, never been high, never been high
I've never been high. I've never been high
I've never been high. I've never been high

I've celebrated, birthdays and waited
Waited and waited, tomorrow's just a tease
Then I'll be something, then I'll be something
Look there's a camera, smile and say cheese

I've never been high, never been high, never been high
I've never been high, never been high, never been high

"In My Family"


That's how it's gonna be
In my family
From the biggest branch to the smallest leaf
Still you're gonna see similarity

[Chorus:]
In my family
That's how it's gonna be

That's how its gonna be
'Cause it's my family
Gonna live to see post-senility
Lots of time to spend with my family

[Chorus:]
In my family
That's how it's gonna be

There you got your Rockefeller
There you got your Edward Teller
J. Paul Getty is a splendid fellow, but
None of them would be in my family

[Chorus:]
In my family
That's how it's gonna be

Family
It's like any other family
Big and small
It's like any other family

That's how it's gonna be
Before and after me
Manufacturing many, many me's
Gonna hang myself from my family tree

[Chorus:]
In my family
That's how it's gonna be

"In The Future"



It's winter, it's raining
You're tired, she's fainting
You're bitter, she's brooding
But don't be disenchanted
'Cause you can barely stand it

The sweep and the grandeur
The scope and the laughter
The future, the future
The future's got it covered
With what will be discovered

In the future fun is fun
In the future, lots of sun
I'll be there, it's up to you
You'll be there if you don't do nothing foolish

You'll love it, I know it
I know what you like and
You'll love it, I know it
We'll need some vintage vino
So wash your feet and stamp away

Coming soon and everywhere
Everyone will walk on air
Now it seems so far away
But each day it's getting closer and closer

Convenience and pleasure
All blended together
And culture, and madness
You think you've seen it all
You've seen it all except the future

"Instant Weight Loss"



Don't play that riff
Don't play that riff
Don't play that riff
That takes me back
Instant weight loss

There was a girl y
She called me Fats
But in one night
Instant weight loss

One night, one steamy night
I'd lose a kilo each hour
In ten nights, ten steamy nights
And figure a kilo each hour
Instant weight loss

Then came this guy
Some foreign name
Had chubby hands
Wore lots of chains
Instant weight loss

That's it
What's done is done
Erase the past if you can
With ice cream, with coconut pie
In less than a week I'd undone
Instant weight loss

Don't play that riff
She sang that riff
All through the night
It's coming back
I've gained an ounce
I've gained a pound
Another pound
I've gained a ton

So last July
This girl pulls up
Blonde hair, so what
She says "hey Fats"
Instant weight loss

"Intrusion / Confusion"



I'm going back to see my girl
I hope it's all the same as then

I'm going back to see my girl
I hope it's all the same as then

Confusion, pardon the intrusion
This must not be the room I was in the other night
Confusion, an optical illusion, you see, you see
The number's the same as then
The color's the same as then
But something just isn't really right

Retrace your steps and see what happens, happens
Right from the doorway to your home
Back to your lonely room with only confusion
Was that her (yes, yes it was)
Was that him (yeah, yeah it was)
The girl was familiar but he wasn't me, no

Confusion, you think you know where you stand
But you're not even standing, you're flat on shaky ground
No clue then, and everything you knew then
Was only true in specialized cases, yes, in specialized cases
But in your case it wasn't true at all

Retrace your steps and see what happens, happens
Back to the day when you were born
Father and mother were just pictures, photos
The color was (the same as yours)
The surname (same as yours)
But you got the feeling, the feeling, the feeling

Confusion, la de da
Confusion, oh pardon me
Confusion, la tati

It's lovely sitting next to you
There's no one within miles of you
It's lovely sitting next to you
There's no one within miles of you

Confusion, you think you know where you stand
But you're not even standing, you're flat on shaky ground
No clue then, and everything you knew then
Was only true in specialized cases, yes, in specialized cases
But in your case, in your case
It wasn't the case, not at all

"Irreplaceable"



Irreplaceable
As you search secondhand
To replace what you lost
He's a nervous old man
And you ask "what's this cost"
Somehow it crashed to the floor
Where's the concern, he knows there's more

Somehow a note's on your door
You have been burned, there are no more
Irreplaceable, it's irreplaceable
As you search the cafes
To replace what is lost
All their eyes start to glaze
When you drone on your loss

Somehow you stumble and fall
Glass everywhere, everyone roars
Somehow a telephone call
You were a pair, not any more

Irreplaceable, it's irreplaceable, not interchangeable
They're designed to break, they're designed to break
They're designed to fail, they're designed to fail
They're designed to flake, they're designed to flake
They're designed to fail, they're designed to fail

Irreplaceable, it's irreplaceable

If you should stumble and fall
You may turn red, fire-engine red
One month from now you'll forget falling at all
But who's in your bed

Irreplaceable, it's irreplaceable

"It Ain't 1918"



Johnny was a soldier with the Allies
Johnny was a soldier all the way
Johnny was a soldier with a fun side
Johnny liked to laugh a lot each day
Johnny met a girl who was a beauty
Johnny never thought to live in sin
"Do you take this girl?"
"Yes I take this girl"
Johnny had a next of kin

They were happy as they were
So everything around would change
But they would never, ever change
It ain't 1918 except for these two
it ain't 1918...

Everybody in Missouri knows them
Everybody there has seen their car
Everybody seen their Stanley Steamer
Everybody knows It's Johnny's car
Wave as you see Johnny drive to market
Watch a bit of past go steaming by
Johnny and his bride
Johnny and his car
without a change of any kind

And they were happy as they were
Everything around had changed
But they had never, ever changed
It ain't 1918 except for there two-
it ain't 1918...

Many people in St. Lou are wealthy
A lady by the name of Miller is
Wouldn't it be nice to help out Johnny
Kinda play a real life Santa Claus
She and many other St. Lou people
Bought ol' Johnny quite a fancy car
And a modern home
Threw away his comb
Bought his wife a Paris scarf

Johnny thanked the St. Lou folk
But told them in a voice so sad
That he would rather stay as is
The people of St. Lou were mad, and they said
It ain't 1918 for us or for you
If we can't enjoy it...
Then neither will you

"It's A Knock Off"



I confess that this is really not my song
I bought it in Hong Kong
It's a knock off

I confess that this is really not my voice
Although I had a choice
It's a knock off

So close to real
The look, the feel
So close, and yet
The paint's still wet

You keep thinking that you're really holding hands
Sorry, that's no hand
It's a knock off

Just my luck that I would look into your eyes
Then I realized
They were knock offs

So close to real
The look, the feel
So close and yet
The paint's still wet

I can guess that though you really wear it well
What you're wearing well
It's a knock off

And the Renoir you see hanging on the wall
Bought it at the mall
It's a knock off

So close to real
The look, the feel
So close and yet
The paint's still wet

"It's Educational"



Hey you, tell me what you know
Hey you, tell me everything you know
Why the subjects move to a constant beat
Would the motion change with more heat
Do the subjects have appetites
Does this just occur on one site

It's educational

Hey you, tell me what you know
Hey you, tell me everything you know
Do the subjects seem to react to light
Do the males among them tend to fight
Does the blank look mask pain or fear
Does it bother them that we're here

It's educational

Hey you, tell me what you know
Hey you, tell me everything you know
Is it all a part of a mating rite
Why are some quite black and some quite white
Do they sleep by day and live by night
If you get too close, will they bite

It's educational

Do they ever stop or break down
Do they not look up or look down
Does it bother them that we're here
Although it's not completely clear

It's educational

"Just Because You Love Me"



Baby, baby, give it to me, give it to me
Baby, baby, give it to me, give it,
Now is that all I get, is that all I get
Just because you love me

Baby, baby, give it to me, give it to me
Baby, baby, give it to me, give it to me
I'm not that quick (but) this is ridiculous
Just because you love me

It's common courtesy
Don't be a nurse to me
You save your worst for me
Just because you love me

Baby, baby, level with me, level, with me
Baby, baby, level with me, level, with me
What should I do when you say no
Just because you love me

"Just Got Back From Heaven"



All I get is quiet
Laughing friends won't buy it
I've been known to tell them white lies
But this time I swear it's the truth, oh, oh
I just got back from heaven

I can see their faces
As I mention places
Places that I've overdescribed
But this time I swear it's the truth, oh, oh
I just got back from heaven

Heaven isn't so far away
You walk through the door
And you're light years away
Someone looks right into your eyes
And you feel the magic that you can't deny
And you sway
All through the night
If you stay
All through the night
Look at the shape I'm in
I just got back from heaven

Searching for some glory
People make up stories
One too many drinks at the bar
But this time I swear it's the truth, oh, oh
I just got back from heaven

Heaven isn't so far away
You walk through the door
And you're light years away
Someone looks right into your eyes
And you feel the magic that you can't deny
And you sway
All through the night
If you stay
All through the night
Look at the shape I'm in
I just got back from heaven

Any destination
Makes a great vacation
This is something greater by far
This time I swear it's the truth, oh, oh
I just got back from heaven

"Kiss Me Quick"



Kiss me quick
Hot and right
No confusion
Paradise

Never panic
We're alone
Kiss me quick
There's the phone

Lips that taste of cigarettes and California wine
Lips that taste of fancy food, you drive me out of my mind
I really wish you'd kiss me one more time

Kiss my quick
Melt the ice
College ideas
High school eyes

Paramedic
Dressed in white
Kiss me quick
Save my life

Lips that taste of foreign words and complimentary lies
Lips that make a nervous wreck of any normal guy
I really wish you'd kiss me one more time

Kiss me quick
Wake me up
Caffeine kisses
Not enough

Jungle fever
Insect bites
Weird religions
Pagan rites

Lips that taste of cigarettes and California wine
Lips that taste of fancy food, you drive me out of my mind
I really wish you'd kiss me one more time

"La Dolce Vita"


You're the only bank that's open all night, La Dolce Vita
Now that's clear, can you give me a light, La Dolce Vita
Now that that's clear, when do we eat? La Dolce Vita
Now that that's clear can I have another plate of your
La Dolce Vita

[CHORUS]
Goldiggers arise
Goldiggers are hungry guys
Goldiggers are we
Step up follow me

Mira, mira, guys, there's Lira in her eyes, La Dolce Vita
Looking real bored is what you pay me for, La Dolce Vita
Looking real bored's as hard as scrubbing floors, La Dolce Vita
I'm overpaid but still I'll ask for more, La Dolce Vita
Baby, after all you've got to help the poor, La Dolce Vita

[CHORUS]

Mira, mira, guys, there's Lira in here eyes, La Dolce Vita
I catch a cold just by looking in your eyes, La Dolce Vita
That's just a hazard in work of this kind, La Dolce Vita
Baby you're looking younger every day, La Dolce Vita
I really mean it, it ain't just the pay, La Dolce Vita

[CHORUS]

Mira, mira, guys, there's Lira in her eyes, La Dolce Vita
Life isn't much, but there's nothing else to do, La Dolce Vita

"Ladies"



Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh

Ladies, Ladies
On the sofa next to me
Are Dinah Shore and Sara Lee

Ladies, Ladies
In the backyard climbing trees
Are Princess Grace and Margaret Meade

Ladies, Ladies
And you pull in the driveway, you've been out shopping
I got a hide them, hide all you ladies
Lay down and smile, they're disappearing
And then right after, I welcome home my only lady

Ladies, Ladies
Jackie's in the powder room
Lois Lane will be here soon

Ladies, Ladies
Eva Braun is cracking jokes
While Joan of Arc just sits and smokes

Ladies, Ladies
When I call up some buddies, "Hey, come on over,
There's ladies present!" We'll be right over!
The ladies hear me, they're disappearing
And then right after,
My friends ask me where are all the ladies?
All of the ladies?

Ladies, Ladies
In the kitchen baking cake
Is Betty Crocker

Ladies, Ladies
Dolly Parton's in my pool
And Aunt Jemima's acting cool

Ladies, Ladies
They're really great in person
They get me going
But, I'm not pushy
Don't want to blow it
No six packs know it
They started fading
Come back my ladies
Where would I be without my ladies?
Ladies...

"Let The Monkey Drive"



We're driving north on Highway 1
Toward Santa Barbara, lots of sun
Pacific Ocean on our left hand side
Tough Sata Barbara's on our mind,
our love can't wait till after nine
So she says, 'Can't we let the monkey drive?'

Let the monkey drive, we can have our fun
As we hop in back, out on Highway 1
Let him take the wheel, 'neath the setting sun
Let the monkey drive, out on Highway 1

He's passing cars and passing trucks
And swigs some coffee from Starbucks
And in the backseat everything is fine
He never pries in our affairs
He never listens, never stares
And we three are enjoying our long ride

Let the monkey drive, we can have our fun
As we hop in back, out on Highway 1
Let him take the wheel, 'neath the setting sun
Let the monkey drive, out on Highway 1

Let the monkey drive, and it's only fair
It's the monkey's car and he hates to share
Let him chauffeur us, while we have our fun
Keep our love alive on Highway 1

With obscene gestures, learned from me
He works off some hostility
Toward drivers who might cut him off or slide
I think his license has expired, he seems to be a little wired
He has some trouble staying on our side

But you and me are doing fine
We couldn't wait till after nine
Impossible, our love is way too strong
He hits the brakes a couple times, but everything is superfine
I'm glad the monkey asked to come along

Let the monkey drive, and it's only fair
It's the monkey's car and he hates to share
Let him chauffeur us, while we have our fun
Keep our love alive, out on Highway 1

Let the monkey drive, we can have our fun
As we hop in back, out on Highway 1
Let him take the wheel, 'neath the setting sun
Let the monkey drive, out on Highway 1

Let the monkey drive, we can have our fun
As we hop in back, out on Highway 1
Let him take the wheel, 'neath the setting sun
Let the monkey drive, out on Highway 1

Let the monkey drive, and it's only fair
It's the monkey's car and he hates to share
Let him chauffeur us, while we have our fun
Keep our love alive, out on Highway 1

"Let's Get Funky"



She arrived on a Greyhound bus
And she was young and so lean
And she smelled like a smalltown church
But she looked like a queen

And I walked up and asked her name
And she gave me a stare
So I said will you marry me
She just brushed at her hair

She looked hungry and knew I was
So she ate lunch with me
Then she held out a greasy hand
Rubbed the grease on my knee

Maybe she's taken a vow of silence
Maybe she's from some quiet island
Or maybe she's scared of big city life, I don't know
Maybe she's had a difficult life
Oh c'mon baby just a word
Just a syllable or two
Take your pick say a word
Any word at all will do

"Let's get funky"

"Let's Go Surfing"



Rain is pouring down
In our land-locked town
Skies are always gray
Let's go surfing, babe
Somewhere there is hope
Somewhere there are dreams
Far from soot and smoke
Let's go surfing, babe

Tonight as we look at the moon and the stars
From our room with security bars
There's a westerly wind that is blowing both our minds
And both our feet
Walk through sand that's as white as the snow
Past the people named Kelley and Joe
Who have nothing in common with anyone we know
We know they're

Too Wagnerian
Too Shakespearian
Too impossible
Let's go surfing, babe
Somewhere there is hope
Far from everything
Far from misanthropes
Let's go surfing, babe

Tonight, from a room only Dickens could love
Wearing moth-eaten sweaters and gloves
We will open the window and feel an on-shore wind
A-blowing in
Grab our boards from the back of our van
Paddle out 'til we can't see the sand
Spin around and drop into the wave we hope will never end

Somewhere there is hope
Somewhere there are dreams
Far from everything
Let's go surfing, babe

Tonight, grab our boards from the back of our van
Paddle out 'til we can't see the sand
Spin around and drop into the wave we hope will never end

Catch a wave, a wave, a wave
Catch a wave, a wave, a wave

Somewhere there is hope
Somewhere there are dreams
Far from everything
Let's go surfing, babe

"Let's Make Love"



There's no way that I could ever explain
I got to hold you in my arms, dear
Or else go insane
And what I'm feelin' in my heart
Feelin' in my soul
It makes me just a little dizzy
And out of control
But I've been waiting all my life
For someone I could stand
And you're the primary reason
I feel like a man
And what I'm feelin' in my heart
Feelin' in my soul
I couldn't ever hope to tell you
I'm sure you must know

It ain't the cool thing to be leaving
You're a sweet, young, and naive thing
Here comes the night
There goes my heart
Let's make love and not fall apart

I'm so grateful
For the love that we share
I'll never take it for granted
That you're always there
And when I think about the world
And what is going on
It makes me even more thankful
That you're still around
And I've been waiting all my life
For someone I could stand
And you're the only one so far
Who could understand
And what I'm feelin' in my heart
Feelin' in my soul
I couldn't ever hope to tell you
I'm sure you must know

It ain't the cool thing to be leaving
You're a sweet, young, and naive thing
Here comes the night
There goes my heart
Let's make love and not fall apart

When I see you there
With tears in your eyes
And I know somethin's gonna happen
That I might not like
I feel a worry in my heart
A worry in my soul
In fact, it's only you rehearsing
For some silly role
And you say, did I have you fooled
Were you really fooled
And I say, sorry pretty baby
No, I wasn't fooled
And what I'm feelin' in my heart
Feelin' in my soul
I couldn't ever hope to tell you
I'm sure you must know

It ain't the cool thing to be leaving
You're a sweet, young, and naive thing
Here comes the night
There goes my heart
Let's make love and not fall apart

"Lighten Up, Morrissey"



She won't go out with me, no, she won't go out
'Cause my intellect's paper thin
She won't go out with me, no, she won't go out
Since my intellect's not like him

So, lighten up, Morrissey

She won't hang out with me, no, she won't hang out
'Til my biting wit bites like his
She won't hang out with me, no, she won't hang out
'Til my quick retort's quick as his

So, lighten up, Morrissey?
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, Morrissey
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, Morrissey

She won't have sex with me, no, she won't have sex
'Less it's done with a pseudonym
She won't do sport with me, no, she won't do sport
Says it's way, way too masculine, look at him

So, lighten up, Morrissey?
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, Morrissey
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, Morrissey

I got comparisons coming out my ears
And she never can hit the pause
If only Morrissey weren't so Morrisseyesque
She might overlook all my flaws

So, lighten up, Morrissey
Lighten up, lighten up
So, lighten up, Morrissey
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, Morrissey'
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, Morrissey
She won't dine out with me, no, she won't dine out
Says my t-bone steak is at fault
She won't dine out with me, no, she won't dine out
With a murderer, pass the salt

Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, Morrissey
Lighten up, lighten up

Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, Morrissey
Lighten up, lighten up
Lighten up, Morrissey